Charie D. La Marr

Persiphonia

I am sad to report that Persiphonia has its first criminal. Seven of them to be exact. And the charge is murder. Yes, there has been a murder in Persipohonia. The Persiphonia Seven are currently guests of Persphonia behind bars in our maximum-security facility--which was empty anyway. Their trial is scheduled for early next week after they’ve had a few days to enjoy our hospitality and think a little about what they have done. The victim was a tree—Persiophonia’s famous Sweetheart Tree in Sulley Park to be precise. It was a beautiful and very old Japanese Maple Tree. Most couples in Persiphonia posed under it on their wedding day. As the story goes, a couple having their picture taken under the Sweetheart Tree guaranteed them a happy and healthy marriage and many children. Now it is just a dead stump. Yesterday our parks crew had to cut the dead tree down. A group of local woodcrafters have saved as much of the wood as they could and they intend to make little souvenirs for married couples in the future. A tree surgeon was also able to extract some of the tree’s DNA or some living material like DNA and try to clone it. I’m not a scientist, I don’t know how that works, but we are all very hopeful. The murder weapon? Well, I really don’t know of a nice way to put this, so let’s just call it recycled beer. As you all might know—beer cannot be owned, it can only be rented. Sooner or later (more likely sooner) you have to give it back. Seven young men who were pledging for the Eye Felta Thi Fraternity at Persiphonia University were sent on a beer run by the members of the Fraternity. On the way back, they decided to have one beer each. One beer lead to another and pretty soon things were out of control. They found themselves stone cold drunk in Sulley Park underneath the Sweetheart Tree. With the park’s restrooms locked for the evening and the college still miles away, they had no choice to use the tree to relieve themselves. They had many cases of beer and so they relieved themselves many times before they were discovered unconscious underneath the tree. In the morning, they were discovered by the police and charged with public drunkenness. They were sentenced to three weeks of park cleaning services and given a very stern lecture by this Mayor. The sentence was carried out and we thought that was the end of it. But as spring began to bloom, the Sweetheart Tree just kind of stood there doing nothing. The landscapers pruned it and fertilized it in an attempt to get it blooming. A few leaves appeared and quickly died. Soon the branches began to droop. Tree surgeons were quickly called in and they worked feverishly too save the tree. But it was too late. The cause of death was listed as alcohol poisoning. The seven young men were quickly arrested and slammed in jail. People gathered and wept as the tree was cut down. Brides quickly searched for other places to take their wedding pictures. Posing in front of a urine soaked tree stump just didn’t have very much appeal. Then the Persiphonia Seven come before me in court, they will be pronounced guilty. That is certain. What their sentence will be has yet to be decided, but I assure you that I will come down on them swiftly and to the fullest extent of the law. Nobody kills a tree on MY watch and walks away. If the tree was still there, I might be tempted to hang them from it. Today, I am sending around a group of tree surgeons to check the trees in your town. They will be especially careful when checking the trees near your colleges and bars. As entertainment, I am sending along a copy of that lovely old Henry Mancini song ‘The Sweetheart Tree’. Enjoy it. Please remember to POP or Entertain us back often when you see us down. We have dumped a bunch of connex AGAIN. I ONLY accept cities who send a FRIEND REQUEST. Don’t ask here and don’t send me a message. ONLY friend requests will be considered in the order they arrive. I intend to give preference to people who have loyally popped Persiphonia though they were non-connections. We autopop every night at midnight or as close to midnight as we remember to. AND NOW FOR THE LATEST NEWS … Tales of Persiphonia is now online! I am in the process of adding all of the tales from way back in the beginning, along with my personal tips for playing the game and other cool Persiphonia stuff. You can find us at http://persiphonia.wordpress.com/ Drop by often. Leave comments. We love to hear from you! I am almost up to date adding the old ones to the blog. Sincerely yours, Persiphone Hellecat, Mayor, Empress, Queen and Exaulted Grand Poobah of Persiphonia, Land of the Free and Home of the Bipolar. (We have an excellent medical plan that includes prescriptions!) A PROUD NO NUKES CITY!!! We are now SOLAR!!! Let the sun shine in!