Derrick, Mayor of Derrickville |
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DerrickvilleMayor
Derrick
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The Derrickville Wall
Charie D. La Marr, mayor ofPersiphoniaover 15 years agoToday was a very special day for Persiphonia’s ever growing shopaholic population. Frankoff’s—one of the oldest stores in Persiphonia announced they were going out of business. After 75 years in business, third generation Al and Maxine Frankoff have decided to enjoy their retirement years in Florida. And that means Going Out Of Business Sale! 70% off the lowest ticket price on everything! Shopping carts were filling fast and lines were long when a loud scream came from the shoe department. It seems that Peggy Sue Bluestone and Ethel Mc Inerney were fighting over a pair of red patent leather Jimmy Choo stilettos. With two previous markdowns, plus the 70% discount, the 400 dollar pair of shoes came to 35 dollars! Who could pass up a bargain like that? Each had one shoe and was wildly trying to pry the second one from the other woman’s hands. But neither was letting go. Finally, Ethel let loose with a big roundhouse left that knocked Peggy Sue into a rack of shoes, dumping the entire rack to the floor and knocking out two of her front teeth. But she still clung to that red patent leather shoe as she crawled across the floor and bit Ethel on her ankle, causing her to scream and use the other shoe to beat Peggy Sue off of her. But neither woman would let go. Soon the police were called. Salesgirls quickly righted the fallen rack and got the shoes back in order and women casually went about their business of bargain hunting. Both women were taken down to the local jail where they waited 6 hours—long enough for them to cool off but also long enough for me to finish shopping. I sentenced them to time served, plus I ordered them to pay each other’s medical bills, including tetanus shots for both. You just can’t be too careful with all these flu things going around. Then I returned to Frankoff’s for another round of shopping. And by the way—I bought the red patent leather stilettos. In fact I wore them to court when I sentenced them. Boy you should have seen the looks on their faces. I doubt either one will ever speak to me again. Tough. The shoes looked fantastic with my black robes. I found them in black and navy, too. And if they had been nice, I would have asked the salesgirl to hold the other two red pairs I found for them until they got out of the pokey. But too late. They’re gone now. All’s fair in love, war and bargain shopping. Today, I will be sending you some of the soon to be unemployed salesgirls from the Frankoff’s shoe department. They know their shoes. And for entertainment, how about ‘The Devil Wears Prada’? Nothing like taking you to a good chick flick to prove a man really loves you. I’ll be watching it tonight, too. Wearing my new black silk pajamas and my new red stilettos while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream. Now that is good stuff. Please remember to POP or Entertain us back often when you see us down. I am back up to 1000 connections, but have started dumping 2x weekly poppers. I ONLY accept cities who send a FRIEND REQUEST. Don’t ask here and don’t send me a message to my inbox. It can’t keep up with it as it is. ONLY friend requests will be considered in the order they arrive. I intend to give preference to people who have loyally popped Persiphonia though they were non-connections. We autopop every night at midnight or as close to midnight as we remember to. AND NOW FOR THE LATEST NEWS … Tales of Persiphonia is now online! I am in the process of adding all of the tales from way back in the beginning, along with my personal tips for playing the game and other cool Persiphonia stuff. You can find us at http://persiphonia.wordpress.com/ Drop by often. Leave comments. We love to hear from you! I am almost up to date adding the old ones to the blog. Sincerely yours, Persiphone Hellecat, Mayor, Empress, Queen and Exaulted Grand Poobah of Persiphonia, Land of the Free and Home of the Bipolar. (We have an excellent medical plan that includes prescriptions!) A PROUD NO NUKES CITY!!! We are now SOLAR!!! Let the sun shine in!
Charie D. La Marr, mayor ofPersiphoniaover 15 years agoSometimes this Mayor has to have the wisdom of Solomon in addition to all her regular attributes—great looks, a terrific sense of humor, fabulous red hair and an amazing collection of shoes. You just never know when some scandal is going to erupt, forcing you to make those tough decisions. Kevin Gallager seemed like a normal suburban husband. He lived in our suburb Lil Slice of Hell with his wife MaryKay and their two children Madison and Tyler. Kevin worked at a very large electronics company as a salesman. As a part of his job, every Sunday night he kissed his wife and kids good-bye, got into his company car and headed out on the road for a week of selling electronics parts. He returned the following Sunday afternoon in time to mow the lawn, with toys for the children and a little something in the order of sexy lingerie for MaryKay. To their neighbors, they were a perfectly normal family. MaryKay was vice president of the local PTA and Kevin was a part time Little League coach for Tyler’s team. They had a great house in a nice neighborhood and seemed to have it all. But the truth was Kevin’s job didn’t require any travelling at all. In fact, he travelled no farther than his apartment in downtown Persiphonia where his wife Karen and his son Craig would be anxiously waiting for him to return from his weekly business trip with toys for Craig, something sexy for Karen, the Sunday papers and a dozen bagels. They spent the rest of the afternoon in bed reading the papers and enjoying a lazy brunch. To the doorman and their neighbors in the building where they lived, they were a perfectly normal family and seemed to have it all. The problem was Kevin had too much. One family too much. It all came to a head when Karen drove out to Lil Slice of Hell to visit a friend while Kevin was away. In a twist of fate, she ended up having a fender bender car accident with Mary Kay. No one was hurt, but while they were waiting for the police they began to talk. They found it amusing that they both had husbands named Kevin Gallagher who both were travelling salesmen working for an electronics firm. Then, they shared family pictures and the bottom dropped out of Kevin’s world. Both pictures featured a smiling Kevin and his family. By the time the police arrived, a huge catfight had broken out and the police had to break it up. An officer was sent to Kevin’s office where he was taken into custody and brought before my court. This was a hard one for me. While we clearly don’t condone bigamy, there were certainly more people to consider than just Kevin the old horndog that he was. Putting him in jail would serve no purpose. Both of his families would suffer from the lack of income and insurance. And if I annulled the second marriage to Karen, she and her son would no longer be on his insurance policy and her child would be deprived of a father. There didn’t seem to be a simple answer. So I decided to leave Kevin in jail for a few days while I gave it some thought. Finally, I decided that while bigamy is illegal in Persiphonia as well as Lil Slice of Hell, I would let this one slide with a stiff penalty. Since Kevin decided to have two families, I ordered that Karen and her son move into the house with MaryKay and her children—bringing Kevin’s family together under one roof. This would allow him to spend more time with his children. It would also save him a lot of money on the apartment on Persiphonia. Both wives and all the children would be listed on both his medical and life insurance policies equally. This would also give Kevin more time to serve out his 2 thousand hours of community service—working as an electrician for Habitat for Humanity helping to build houses for the poor. Of course, managing two wives under one roof wasn’t going to be easy, but tough. Kevin made his bed, now it was time to lie in it. It has come to my attention that a better census taking would be more likely to catch this type of situation, and so I have begun the 2010 census a little early so that it could be conducted more carefully. I will be sending you a census taker to get your census underway as well. I have no doubt that there are other horndogs like Kevin out there. Let’s find them and bring them to justice. As today is the birthday of Oscar Hammerstein, the Persiphonia Players will be coming to your city to present their production of South Pacific. We hope you enjoy. I have been known to play the part of Bloody Mary on occasion. However, the census has me way too busy to make the trip. Please remember to POP or Entertain us back often when you see us down. I am back up to 1000 connections, but have started dumping 2x weekly poppers. I ONLY accept cities who send a FRIEND REQUEST. Don’t ask here and don’t send me a message to my inbox. It can’t keep up with it as it is. ONLY friend requests will be considered in the order they arrive. I intend to give preference to people who have loyally popped Persiphonia though they were non-connections. We autopop every night at midnight or as close to midnight as we remember to. AND NOW FOR THE LATEST NEWS … Tales of Persiphonia is now online! I am in the process of adding all of the tales from way back in the beginning, along with my personal tips for playing the game and other cool Persiphonia stuff. You can find us at http://persiphonia.wordpress.com/ Drop by often. Leave comments. We love to hear from you! I am almost up to date adding the old ones to the blog. Sincerely yours, Persiphone Hellecat, Mayor, Empress, Queen and Exaulted Grand Poobah of Persiphonia, Land of the Free and Home of the Bipolar. (We have an excellent medical plan that includes prescriptions!) A PROUD NO NUKES CITY!!! We are now SOLAR!!! Let the sun shine in! 2 Posts Available
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