Jason, Mayor of Bingeropolis |
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BingeropolisMayor
Jason
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The Bingeropolis Wall
Charie D. La Marr, mayor ofPersiphoniaover 16 years agoMayor Mason of our lovely suburb of Lil Slice Of Hell is a very talented magician. Every once in a while, he tries out new tricks by putting on a very large stage show at a theatre out in the suburbs. It is usually quite an entertaining event—but not quite like it was this time. For the finale of the show, Mason had four well endowed female assistants lock him into a wooden box and cover it with chains while several audience members stood on the stage and watched. The only thing that you could see was his right hand, sticking out of a hole in the box. Then, he was hoisted up in the air by a thick rope that was soaked in gasoline. As the box dangled there, Mason’s right hand reached out of the box holding something very small. Suddenly, a flame appeared. He was holding a cigarette lighter. He reached up and lit the rope on fire. Everyone watched in horror as the rope suspending him began to burn. You could see threads of the rope unraveling as the fire got brighter. Everyone watched—thinking that somehow he would escape from the box and put the fire out before he fell. But that didn’t happen. You could see the box bouncing around as though he was struggling to escape. Soon the top of the box was on fire, too. There were nervous gasps in the audience. A minute later, the rope let go and the burning box plunged to the stage. Stagehands rushed out and sprayed it with a fire extinguisher. All that was left was the charred remains of the rope. Mason was nowhere to be seen. We all glanced around the audience—expecting him to pop out of somewhere with a flourish. And we waited. And we waited. No Mason. A few people in the audience began to cry. Several had to be escorted from the theatre. The stagehands began to pick through the rubble, looking to see if the squashed and burned remains of Mason was there. They found nothing, except an envelope addressed to me. Someone walked out and handed it to me. Everyone laughed—expecting it to be some kind of a map or a note saying where we could find him. Well, in a way it was. According to the letter, Mayor Mason hasn’t paid his personal taxes in several years. He owes literally millions to the government. In addition, serious gambling and drinking habits had forced him to begin embezzeling momey from the city of Lil Slice of Hell. Millions and millions of dollars. This stunt was his final farewell. He was on his way to Tahiti with a stop in the Grand Caymans first to pick up the millions of dollars he had hidden in unmarked accounts. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, he was having an affair with my newest secretary and she was on the plane with him. I didn’t recognize her, but she was one of the four well endowed assistants who locked him in the box. I immediately called the airport and tried to stop the flight, but it was too late. Mason, all of Lil Slice of Hell’s money and my secretary were off into the night with no chance of extradition. The city of Lil Slice of Hell was bankrupt. It’s Mayor and my secretary took everything—including the elk head that was given to me by Sarah Palin that I hung in his office. The creep. Naturally, I have taken control of the city and incorporated it into Persiphonia. Of course, it will mean some budget cuts for a while until we get everything under control, but Persiphonians are strong and sharing people. We will get by. Hey, all I lost was another dumb blonde secretary with fake boobs that were smarter than she was. If you should be planning a vacation to Tahiiti some time in the future, and run across the former Mayor Mason and my former secretary, please give him a message for me. In a place that really hurts. Hard. Today, I am sending each city in Metropolis an auditor to check their books and make sure that there is no one trying to embezzle money from their fine city. For entertainment, I will send along a video tape of Mayor Mason’s departure, because it really was kind of cool. Please remember to POP or Entertain us back often when you see us down. We have reached 1000 connections, but I am checking now and deleting those who do not autopop daily, so wait about a week and ask us again. I will ONLY connect to cities who send a friend request that contains the NAME OF THEIR CITY- not just ‘Metroâ€. I have already deleted over 150 names and replaced them and continue to do so a little at a time. I intend to give preference to people who have loyally popped Persiphonia though they were non-connections. We autopop every night at midnight or whenever we remember to. AND NOW FOR THE LATEST NEWS … Tales of Persiphonia is now online! I am in the process of adding all of the tales from way back in the beginning, along with my personal tips for playing the game and other cool Persiphonia stuff. You can find us at http://persiphonia.wordpress.com/ Drop by often. Leave comments. We love to hear from you! I am almost up to date adding the old ones to the blog. Sincerely yours, Persiphone Hellecat, Mayor, Empress, Queen and Exaulted Grand Poobah of Persiphonia, Land of the Free and Home of the Bipolar. (We have an excellent medical plan that includes prescriptions!) A PROUD NO NUKES CITY!!! We are now SOLAR!!! Let the sun shine in!
Charie D. La Marr, mayor ofPersiphoniaover 16 years agoThere is an old expression “boys will be boysâ€. But sometimes boys go just a little bit too far. And sometimes they go a lot too far. The baseball team from Buddy Holly High School, the Buddy Holly Blue Devils are our city champs. Their prize for winning was a trip to a warm city south of Persiphonia for a week of spring training. I hesitate to mention the name of the city because of the embarrassment the team caused this Mayor. This is the facts as I understand them. After a hard day of working out on the field, the boys were treated to a steak dinner and a little recreational time at the hotel pool. By 9:30, everyone was in their rooms for a 10 PM lights out. They needed their rest so they could get up bright and early for another long day of practice. At 10:30, the coaches conducted a bed check. Everyone was present and accounted for and sleeping peacefully. So, with nothing better to do, the coaches decided to take a walk down the road to this pool hall and strip joint they happened to notice on the way to the hotel from the airport. According to them, they just went to shoot a couple games of pool and the fact that it was also a strip joint didn’t interest them at all. A likely story. In fact, one of the locals reported that as the evening progressed, they wound up playing 8 ball with a completely naked woman. They also consumed a goodly amount of alcohol during their pool matches. Back at the hotel, the boys were up and sneaking down the hall to their appointed meeting place. They slipped down the back stairway of the hotel and out into the night. They also seemed to have a goodly amount of alcohol with them as well as possibly a couple cigarettes that didn’t contain any tobacco. They cruised the town, looking for action, and found some at a local church dance. Before long, several of the young ladies from the dance had returned to the hotel with them. One boy was dared to jump off the third floor balcony into the pool. He took the bet and landed a couple feet short of the concrete. That seemed to start the mayhem. Clothes began to fly in every direction as half and more than half naked boys were joined in the pool by the local church girls, who may or may not have imbibed in the liquor and smoked some of the funny cigarettes. Several boys took advantage of the pool party to escort young ladies to their rooms for . . . other types of activities. As the church’s preacher testified at the hearing, “All Hell broke looseâ€. When it was all over, there was considerable damage to the pool area of the hotel as well as to several of the boys’ rooms. Holes were punched in walls. Lamps and other fixtures not fastened down were destroyed. Somehow, cable television boxes had been broken into and fixed so that the adult channels were available at no charge. The courtesy bars in the rooms were ransacked and some of the local convenience stores reported shoplifting of items like potato chips and corn chips. The coaches returned to find the hotel in a state of chaos. Other guests were complaining about the noise and commotion—asking for rooms in quieter parts of the building. The police were there, as well as some of the young ladies’ parents. They claimed to have been sleeping on a lower floor, having taken Ambien after checking to see if the boys were asleep. Naturally, I was awakened by an angry call from the Mayor. It seems that one of the young ladies at the party was his 13 year old daughter and there was the possibility that she was . . . spoiled. The team would be on the next plane home, having been kicked out of this lovely southern town. Of course, he expected all damages to be paid for. I called the principal of the school who began waking up parents. They arrived at my office early in the morning with plastic in hand. Within an hour or so, all damages had been covered, the convenience stores had been repaid and apologies had been made to the families of the young ladies. Just before they headed off to the airport to retrieve their wayward children, the principal informed them that the boys were expelled and would be transferred to Sam Kinnison Reform School, our local high school for boys in trouble. For some parents, their dream of having a kid play professional baseball seems to be over. So much for boys being boys. Rather than put their sons in our local reform school, some of the families have opted to move. Buddy Holly High is located in an upscale neighborhood and all of the parents are educated white collar workers including accountants, stock brokers and teachers. If you would like one of these families, and can use a decent baseball player for your high school team in the process, we will be happy to send one your way. Oh, and the boy will also need a part time job. All of them have a lot of money to repay their parents for their night on the town. He will also need a therapist. As my part of the punishment, I have put each boy on one year’s probation with the understanding that they see a therapist weekly. If he doesn’t comply, please send him back to me and a desk at Sam Kinnison Reform School waits for him. For entertainment today, a copy of my favorite movie Field of Dreams. It will be great to use at an outdoor movies in the park event for your citizens. Please remember to POP or Entertain us back often when you see us down. We have reached 1000 connections, but I am checking now and deleting those who do not autopop daily, so wait about a week and ask us again. I will ONLY connect to cities who send a friend request that contains the NAME OF THEIR CITY- not just ‘Metroâ€. All other requests will be deleted. I have already deleted over 150 names and replaced them and continue to do so a little at a time. I intend to give preference to people who have loyally popped Persiphonia though they were non-connections. We autopop every night at midnight or whenever we remember to. AND NOW FOR THE LATEST NEWS … Tales of Persiphonia is now online! I am in the process of adding all of the tales from way back in the beginning, along with my personal tips for playing the game and other cool Persiphonia stuff. You can find us at http://persiphonia.wordpress.com/ Drop by often. Leave comments. We love to hear from you! I am almost up to date adding the old ones to the blog. Sincerely yours, Persiphone Hellecat, Mayor, Empress, Queen and Exaulted Grand Poobah of Persiphonia, Land of the Free and Home of the Bipolar. (We have an excellent medical plan that includes prescriptions!) A PROUD NO NUKES CITY!!! We are now SOLAR!!! Let the sun shine in! 
Charie D. La Marr, mayor ofPersiphoniaover 16 years agoCassi Cominsky was one of Persiphonia’s best dancers. At only 15, she was already the best student at Miss Chance’s School of Dances. Cassi started studying ballet when she was only 5 and got her first pair of pointe shoes when she was 8. Miss Chance’s yearly recital was coming up and as usual, Cassi was doing a solo. She was going to do the dance of the Firebird, a famous ballet. She had a beautiful costume her mother made with shades of red, yellow and orange to simulate the fire. But more than anything, she wanted red pointe shoes to go with it. But her mother said they can’t afford them. Her father took a beating in Metropolis’s first economic and market session and at that time, there just wasn’t money for a pair of pointe shoes that she would only wear for the recital. She would have to wear her old pink ones. Maybe she could add red ribbons to them to make them look more red. But new pointe shoes were out of the question right now. So Cassi, being a very stubborn and resourceful child, decided to earn the money to buy them herself. But she would need around 100 dollars. She had some allowance saved up, but that was only 15 dollars. It would take a lot of hard work for Cassi to raise the rest. One day, she was visiting her friend Misti Goldinger. They were practicing a routine for the recital in the basement. Misti’s mother opened the door and yelled that it was time for Misti to walk her Maltese, Max. Misti got all huffy as they put on her sneakers and headed up the stairs to walk the dog. That gave Cassi a great idea. Cassi’s Classy Dog Walking Service. She made up a lot of colorful flyers and put them in the mailboxes of all the people she knew had pets. Especially the older people. She knew it was hard for them to go out and walk their pets. She would charge a dollar per walk per pet. She figured she could walk ten or fifteen dogs at a time since all the dogs in Persiphonia are little. In no time at all, the money would be rolling in. She would be able to buy her red pointe shoes and even be able to buy some new games for her Wii. She was surprised that nobody had thought of the idea before. Customers poured in. Before she knew it, Cassi was walking her dog, a tiny little jet black mixed breed from the animal shelter named Jaxon, plus about twenty other dogs. The hardest part was keeping them all still while she stopped to pick up when one of the little guys pooped. But in Persiphonia, picking up after your dogs is a strictly enforced law. Cassi had to spend some of her saved up allowance money on a super pooper-scooper. It was an investment. One afternoon, Cassi was cleaning up when she heard the dogs all barking behind her. She turned around and screamed. Her little dog Jaxon was standing up behind Mrs. Garlinger’s Pekinese show dog Heavenly, making these strange jerking motions. Being only 12, Cassi had no idea what they were doing. She tried to stop Jaxon, but he growled and snapped at her. She started to cry. Heavenly was whimpering and crying, too. It just so happened that Fire Chief Rick Goodbody was in a fire truck, returning to the fire station after giving a Stop Drop and Roll lecture at one of the local elementary schools. Recognizing a doggie rape in action. He grabbed a hose from the truck, hooked it up to the nearest fire hydrant and let it blast. Jaxon ended up about halfway down the next block. He helped Cassi retrieve her dog and return the rest of the dogs to their rightful owners. Then he gave her and Jaxon a ride home in the fire engine. She may have only been 12, but Cassi sat as close to Chief Goodbody as she could get. After that, Cassi closed down Cassi’s Classy Dog Service. Some of her customers were very disappointed, but she told them she needed more time for her schoolwork and practicing ballet. She never mentioned the Jaxon incident to Mrs. Garlinger, but after a while, she began to suspect what Jaxon had been doing that day. And then she remembered that her parents had never taken the little puppy back to the shelter to be neutered like they were supposed to. She began to worry. Then, about 10 weeks later, there was a knock at the door. Mrs. Garlinger was standing on the porch crying. In her hand was a box and inside were 5 of the ugliest black puppies that Cassi had ever seen. Jaxon ran and hid behind the sofa. All of them looked just like him. Mrs. Garlinger told Cassi’s father about the dog walking service and served him with papers announcing that she was suing him for 50 thousand dollars. Her beautiful show dog was ruined—tainted by her encounter with the ugly black mutt. The two families came to Persiphonia’s court, and using the Persiphonian method of justice—a game of rock, paper, scissors, Mrs. Garlinger won 2-1and Mr. Cominsky owed her 50 thousand dollars. Realizing that Mrs. Garlinger was perhaps going a little overboard with her claim, I reduced the amount to 1,500 dollars and closed the case. Mr. Cominsky wrote her a check and left the courthouse. The Cominsky family has now decided to leave Persiphonia. Everywhere they go, people smirk at them and make rude remarks about their dog. Mrs. Cominsky is so traumatized that her doctor has had to double her daily medications. Cassi dropped out of Mrs. Chance’s School of Dances and seldom leaves her room except to go to school. Her grades have fallen significantly. Do you have a home in your city for this lovely family? Mr. Cominsky is an accountant with a degree from Persiphonia University. Mrs. Cominsky teaches high school math. Surely such a family would be a benefit to any community. Jaxon has since been neutered, so this terrible event won’t occur again. Let this be a lesson to all of you. Spay and neuter your pets. For entertainment (as if this story wasn’t enough) I am sending along a copy of the original 1959 version of The Shaggy Dog starring Fred Mc Murray and Annette Funicello. Promise you won’t stare at her chest. This was post-Mickey Mouse Club and Annette had filled out real nice by then, but she was kind of sensitive about all the talk about how she filled out a sweater by then. Please remember to POP or Entertain us back often when you see us down. We have reached 1000 connections, but I am checking now and deleting those who do not autopop daily, so wait about a week and ask us again. I will ONLY connect to cities who send a friend request that contains the NAME OF THEIR CITY- not just ‘Metroâ€. I have already deleted over 150 names and replaced them and continue to do so a little at a time. I intend to give preference to people who have loyally popped Persiphonia though they were non-connections. We autopop every night at midnight or whenever we remember to. AND NOW FOR THE LATEST NEWS … Tales of Persiphonia is now online! I am in the process of adding all of the tales from way back in the beginning, along with my personal tips for playing the game and other cool Persiphonia stuff. You can find us at http://persiphonia.wordpress.com/ Drop by often. Leave comments. We love to hear from you! I am almost up to date adding the old ones to the blog. Sincerely yours, Persiphone Hellecat, Mayor, Empress, Queen and Exaulted Grand Poobah of Persiphonia, Land of the Free and Home of the Bipolar. (We have an excellent medical plan that includes prescriptions!) A PROUD NO NUKES CITY!!! We are now SOLAR!!! Let the sun shine in! 
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