Player, Mayor of Metro Bonero |
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The Metro Bonero Wall
Charie D. La Marr, mayor ofPersiphoniaover 15 years agoNew billboards went up all over Persiphonia today. In fact, they went up all over Metropolis. They feature a very handsome man (he looks a little bit like Ace Murphy only cuter) standing in front of a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud dressed in a tuxedo. He is carrying two dozen red roses in one hand and a box with a diamond ring in the other. The diamond is big enough to ice skate on. The billboard says The will Dad set up is ironclad I must marry before 39 I’m worth billions-and a handsome lad So will you be mine? It gives the phone number 1 800 BEMEWIFE and the website www.marrythisbillionaire.com The handsome lad in the photo is JR Washington, heir to the Washington Laundromat fortune started by his father Lars Walensa with one single Laundromat purchased when he arrived here on the boat from Poland. Yes, he earned his fortune one quarter at a time. After a while, he decided that having the name Washington would be a hoot for a Laundromat king, so he changed the entire family’s names. He chose George for his first name—not for the President but for Gerge Jefferson the dry cleaning king on The Jefferson’s. George Jefferson Washington. A great lover of television, he changed the name his son Lech who was named after the former Polish President to JR after JR Ewing of Dallas, the most popular show on television. As a young man, JR Washington had it all. He was a billionaire playboy whose time was spent yachting, playing polo and tennis and chasing women. He showed no interest in his father’s business at all. It broke Lars/George’s heart that his only son showed no interest in Laundromats. So he set up a will that would force his only child to at least show some responsibility by marrying and producing an heir. JR hired lawyers and fought it, but he is going to turn 39 in September and so time is running out. If he doesn’t marry, his father’s billions go to Jerry Lewis’ Telethon, which made George cry every labor day. Finally admitting defeat, JR took out the billboards to find himself a wife. The will states that she must be a respectable girl. No strippers, actresses, hookers, porn stars, models or Vegas showgirls—which is a shame because JR knows many of them. And if he produced an heir within one year, his inheritance doubles. So he is actively seeking a wife. In the one day since the billboards appeared, over one thousand single women have shown up in Persiphonia eager to marry the billionaire Laundromat king. The town is overrun. By Monday, we expect women to be sleeping in the park and in cars just waiting for an interview. JR has already interviewed several hundred and rejected them and they are ready to be shipped out. Please take your pick. We have nurses, librarians, school teachers, secretaries, waitresses, cops, salesgirls, interior designers, a race car driver, three circus trapeze artists, five chefs, a professional golfer, six doctors, sixteen real estate agents, eleven ballet dancers, and one princess and that’s just the first lot. Please help yourself. Take them to your town and find them nice guys to ease their broken hearts. In the meantime, if you have any candidates for JR’s future wife, please send them along. He is very picky so the search isn’t going well. Time is running out. If you are single and fit the bill, please don’t hesitate to apply yourself. We need a bride here pronto. The wedding is set for September 13th—JR’s 39th birthday at Westminster Cathedral with a reception at the Sydney Opera House. 100 thousand white roses have been ordered for the occasion. For entertainment, a double feature. The Father of The Bride with Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor and The Wedding Singer with Adam Sandler. Enjoy. Please remember to POP or Entertain us back often when you see us down. We have dumped a bunch of connex AGAIN. I ONLY accept cities who send a FRIEND REQUEST. Don’t ask here and don’t send me a message. ONLY friend requests will be considered in the order they arrive. I intend to give preference to people who have loyally popped Persiphonia though they were non-connections. We autopop every night at midnight or as close to midnight as we remember to. AND NOW FOR THE LATEST NEWS … Tales of Persiphonia is now online! I am in the process of adding all of the tales from way back in the beginning, along with my personal tips for playing the game and other cool Persiphonia stuff. You can find us at http://persiphonia.wordpress.com/ Drop by often. Leave comments. We love to hear from you! I am almost up to date adding the old ones to the blog. Sincerely yours, Persiphone Hellecat, Mayor, Empress, Queen and Exaulted Grand Poobah of Persiphonia, Land of the Free and Home of the Bipolar. (We have an excellent medical plan that includes prescriptions!) A PROUD NO NUKES CITY!!! We are now SOLAR!!! Let the sun shine in! 3 Posts Available
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