Chuck Huntting

Orygun Island

Dear Mayor, I beg you grant me audience and allow me to introduce myself. I am Secretary of State Shake N. Grin of the independent paradise, Oregon Island. We have recently converted our free market economy to the gold standard and are among the most successful communities in the United Cities of Metropolis. Having visited our Jeffersonian, agrarian utopia, you no doubt understand that our City Officials would rather lounge on the beach imbibing tankards of Orygun Ale and partaking of our other home-grown bounty than consume themselves with constantly monitoring the ticker to return individual favors. It is for that reason that I visit with an extraordinary offer of Treaty between our two great Cities. If you accept this alliance by requesting friendship and sending an invitation for connection, you will be granted “Most Favored City” status and enjoy consistent increases in population or entertainment, as you choose. Our Mayor for Life does not negotiate, but the Treaty has only three Articles. Article I: You must not become “Unfriendly” by deleting HRH King Charles from your Facebook Friends. He engages in this application seriously and plays Stop Global Warming and Zoo Builder for fun. He has no intention to “snoop” your book and will not ask you to join in any other games or groups. Article II: You must not become “Inactive” by failing to populate at least three times per week. Of course we all have a real world that keeps spinning, so just let us know if you are taking a break. Article III: You must not become “Boring” by turning off your wall or failing to keep a name and an image associated with your Mayor. Even if you are as ignorant and ugly as Homer Simpson and use him for your name and image while keeping your wall on, this condition is satisfied. If these terms are agreeable to you, we earnestly anticipate your affirmative reply and look forward to centuries of mutual success in building our Empires. Thank you, Your Honor, for allowing me to present you this offer.