Charie D. La Marr

Persiphonia

Today is April 14th, the day someone on the Titanic called Room Service and asked for ice and got just a little more than they bargained for. Every year on this day, The Grand Palace Movie Theatre in Persiphonia hosts a showing of James Cameron’s Titanic movie. Many people now come dressed as the characters. There are plenty of Rose’s and Jack’s, but we had to stop letting people come dressed as Rose when Jack draws her picture. It was just a little bit too naughty—not to mention too cold. But big hats and bugle beads abound, and it is a great night for all. This year, we are honoring Kate Winslet for her recent Academy Award with a special presentation. She isn’t exactly going to be there. I doubt if she’s ever heard of Persiphonia. But we’re honoring her just the same. Being the feisty redhead that I am, I always go dressed as The Unsinkable Molly Brown. I like to think that if I found myself in such an emergency, I would be just like Molly—telling other people to sit down and shut quit their bitching and start rowing. There’s no room for whiners on a lifeboat, baby. I’d give you two chances. And if you didn’t stop whining and pick up an oar, I wouldn’t care if you were Mrs. John D. Rockefeller, I’d pitch you over the side and announce to the people in the water that we had an opening for another passenger on the starboard side. Us Mayors have to know how to think on their feet. But before you toss her overboard, make sure you grab hold of her mink coat. Hey, she won’t be needing it anymore. And you have to be practical in a situation like that. Of course, I have a romantic side, too. Every time I see it, I kind of root for the ship and hope it doesn’t go down. Hey, let’s face it. Even if I’m old enough to be his mother, Leonardo di Caprio is a hottie. Watching him end up as a popsicle wasn’t exactly a great ending for that movie. Neither was watching an old bat toss a couple million bucks worth of diamonds into the ocean. Didn’t that old lady ever hear of wills? Umm . . . leave it to the granddaughter, sweetie. Why waste good jewelry? And doesn’t it just tick you off that Billy Zane that weasel gets to live? I was hoping he became shark food. They’d probably choke on him though. Today is also another important day in history, and the two kind of have something in common. Today is the day Abraham Lincoln got shot at Ford’s Theatre. And what they have in common is that my adorable son Feral is constantly telling people that I attended both events. He tells them that I was on the dock waving good-bye to the Titanic and that I was also in Ford’s Theatre selling raisinettes in the lobby and suggested to Mr. Lincoln that he might see better from upstairs in the balcony. That kid can be such a smartass. I wonder who he gets that from. Certainly not his dainty, delicate mother. But just for the record, no, I was not there at either event—at least not in this lifetime. However, when I attend the annual showing of Titanic, I do make it a point not to sit in the balcony—just in case. Us world leaders can never be too careful. We never know when some over the top crazed actor with access to firearms might decide to make headlines. Best to sit downstairs, about 10 rows back right in the middle of the row. At least make yourself a hard target, you know? The guy would have to climb over a half a row of people spilling coke and popcorn all over him, getting his shoes stuck in spilled jujubes before he could get to you. And that would give you plenty of time to get out the other way. So, believe it or not, there is a moral in here somewhere. But I guess you have to be bipolar to see it. Never take a cruise on a boat that’s called unsinkable and never sit in the balcony at the movies. And just in case, wait until April 15th to pay your taxes. If the boat goes down, you might not have to. Hey, just being a fatalist here, people. And speaking of taxes, I am pleased to announce that Persiphonia did so well this year that we are able to offer a tax rebate. Every person paying his or her taxes in full will be receiving a lovely cheese tray valued at more that 75 dollars! And with our population now at 374 million people, that’s a lot of cheese. Enough to sink a ship. I will also be sending a representative to each of your cities with a lovely cheese tray for you as well. Enjoy. And for entertainment -- Titanic! What else? Please remember to POP or Entertain us back often when you see us down. We have reached 1000 connections, but I am checking now and deleting those who do not autopop daily, so wait about a week and ask us again. I will ONLY connect to cities who send a friend request that contains the NAME OF THEIR CITY- not just ‘Metro”. I have already deleted over 150 names and replaced them and continue to do so a little at a time. I intend to give preference to people who have loyally popped Persiphonia though they were non-connections. We autopop every night at midnight or whenever we remember to. AND NOW FOR THE LATEST NEWS … Tales of Persiphonia is now online! I am in the process of adding all of the tales from way back in the beginning, along with my personal tips for playing the game and other cool Persiphonia stuff. You can find us at http://persiphonia.wordpress.com/ Drop by often. Leave comments. We love to hear from you! I am almost up to date adding the old ones to the blog. Sincerely yours, Persiphone Hellecat, Mayor, Empress, Queen and Exaulted Grand Poobah of Persiphonia, Land of the Free and Home of the Bipolar. (We have an excellent medical plan that includes prescriptions!) A PROUD NO NUKES CITY!!! We are now SOLAR!!! Let the sun shine in!